Helen Haines’s first words after an alleged attack last week were to ask about the safety of her staff and express gratitude to bystanders and doctors.

Allegra Spender, the MP for Wentworth, told parliament on Monday that Haines’s husband, Phil Haines, had revealed the Indi MP expressed gratitude to bystanders who came to her rescue outside her Wangaratta electorate office.

Haines is in a serious but stable condition after the alleged attack, which led to her losing both legs. A 43-year-old man has been charged and the incident continues to be investigated.

“Phil told us about your first words when you woke up after the attack,” Spender told parliament as she paid tribute to Haines.

“Your first concerns when you awoke were for your staff and gratitude to the first responders, nurses and bystanders.

“That exactly speaks to the character of who you are.

“People have spoken about your empathy and grace, and they deserve recognition. But I think it paints a sort of picture of you as a sort of benign force wandering through the parliament. What I will say is that you are also a force for change.”

The prime minister, Anthony Albanese, led tributes on Monday. MPs wore baby’s breath flowers and orange heart lapel pins in the chamber. An orange cockatoo, synonymous with Haines’ local campaign, has been placed at her seat in the House of Representatives.

Albanese called her “a fighter” and said the shock from the alleged attack was “like a stone in our hearts”.

He urged politicians and voters not to shrug off the “very real rise in anger that distorts and corrodes our public discourse”.

“Enabled by the anonymity and speed afforded by social media, we are seeing rage and aggression increasing, not just in politics, but towards workers in hospitality and retail, in schools and in hospitals, towards police, paramedics, and other officials, we are seeing a normalisation of the language of grievance and violence.”

The leader of the House of Representatives, Labor frontbencher Tony Burke, told parliament that Haines had been given leave of absence until 26 November, the last sitting day of the year.

Haines is expected to be granted more leave from parliament after the summer break.

“Obviously, we will continue to move resolutions for as long as Helen needs us to,” Burke said.

“No leave of absence motion stops the fact that, if at any moment, Helen feels she’s ready to come, then obviously she immediately will.”

The opposition leader, Angus Taylor, paid tribute to Haines, saying she “epitomises civility”.

“That’s why the violent attack on her seems unfathomable,” he said.

“In the past week, so many have spoken and written about Helen’s qualities.

“Her intelligence, compassion, and commitment. Her poise, gentleness, and courtesy.”

MPs are being encouraged to sign on to a civility pledge this week, promising to act with honesty, respect, and compassion.

The speaker, Milton Dick, told parliament all MPs were thinking of Haines and praying for her recovery.

“We look forward to the day you return to this place, and I get to say the following nine words: ‘I give the call to the member for Indi.’”