Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. Here are the ones we saw today:

Watching fellow Nigerians go berserk at the sight of a snake will never not amuse me. ????

— Ekaete ? (@cerebralistic) August 19, 2019

Cats too!

When checking up on a Nigerian, never ask “Are you ok?”… if you do, your kind gesture will be taken for an insult. And that insult will be reciprocated.

If you care for a Nigerian, just ask “have you eaten”. Ask this any day and anytime and we will appreciate your concern.

— Jake Okechukwu Effoduh (@effodu) August 19, 2019

All right,

LADIES. LADIES! Ladies.

Please stop wearing that black tight nonsense you guys wear under your skirts. TF! Why would I be seeing that nonsense through the slit? TFFF?!!

Now you’ve ruined a perfect sight. Trash.

— Main Man Moshood. ? (@Dxski_) August 19, 2019

Women don’t exist to to cater to your needs and desires!

Is it possible to live in Nigeria and not eat rice for a whole week? Asking as a concerned citizen ?

— Dr.A? (@DrA_001) August 19, 2019

You already know the answer, dear.

I distrust sons’ account of their parents’ happy marriages. I believe it when it’s coming from the daughters. Even then, so long as she doesn’t premise it with “my father wasn’t perfect but …” I’d be like, yeah yeah! “He was a monster, but …”

— Florida Uzoaru (@floridauzoaru) August 19, 2019

Speak on it, sis.

The fact that my parents intentionally gave birth to me without my permission and now I’m forced to pay rent in order to live in a world that doesn’t match my taste. <<<<<<<

— Ada Nwoke (@okemzuruoke) August 19, 2019