Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. Here are the ones we saw today:

Congratulations to the 32-year-old Seun Asamu, the new Oyo State Commissioner for Energy. dear friend, I charge you to always make Nigerian youths proud. May God help us @YIAGA@nigeriantribune@MobilePunch@legitngnews@oyostategovt@oyoassembly@PDPOyoState@OfficialPDPNigpic.twitter.com/mtffDtVUlQ

— Rt. Hon Adebo Ogundoyin (@Adebo_ogund) August 15, 2019

"If he messes up, we'll vote him out".

Remember that Venezuela has 10,000% inflation and the guy is still staying put.

Once you put certain people in power, it might not be that easy to remove them.

— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) August 15, 2019

Some of una no fit understand o💕

The joy of many parents in diaspora hearing their children speak Pidgin & claim their Naija Heritage with their full chest, partly due to softpower influences of our musicians, movie industry, & many history-language-culture-themed organizations

— Whole Women Network Co-op (@wwncoop) August 15, 2019

Never be afraid to hit The Restart Button when necessary! Sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise! It’s a rebirth!

— Don Eazi (@mreazi) August 15, 2019

There is enough justification for full res structuring of the country amicably but if those destroying our democracy push their luck further with the impunity the country will no doubt splinter & the biggest loser will be the North. The SW/East/SS/MB will recover in months. ⛱

— SEGA L'éveilleur® (@segalink) August 15, 2019

Anyway, if you are married or looking for children,

Have unprotected sex 4 times a week.
Cut down alcohol- notmore than one small glass a week.
Stop smoking completely- shisha, cigarettes etc
Stay off contraceptives.
Don’t swallow cum- that’s not where it should go 🙄

— OurFaveOnlineDoc 🇬🇧 🇳🇬 (@OurFavOnlineDoc) August 15, 2019