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Not Every Boss Deserves a Thank-You Card. Here’s What to Do When Your Boss Is a Bully.

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Published 10/14/2026 2:30:00 PM

What to Do If Your Boss Is a Bully

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Key Takeaways

When you are working for someone who is a bully, we may use power dynamics as an excuse — but normalizing this behavior is part of the problem. Call out bad behavior when you see or experience it.
Keep a record of the facts: when it happened, what happened, if anyone else was present and how it impacted your work. You will want to use this documentation in the future if you decide to contact an employment lawyer.
When your boss is the bully, speaking up can feel really risky, but there are protections in place for employees for this reason.

I still remember standing in the kitchen area at work, being pressured to sign that thank you card. It was National Boss’s Day and my boss’s executive assistant had a card she wanted us to all sign. It was to thank our boss for being a great boss. The front of the card said, “The world needs more bosses like you!” I felt sick to my stomach, barely scrawling my name inside. The irony was that this boss was one of the worst bosses I had ever worked for.

My former boss was the bully boss. He reminded me of the playground bully who teased and taunted and mocked others. This bully boss also publicly and privately humiliated me. He called me a rat. He told me no one wanted me on their team but only he took a chance on me. When he found out another leader at the company wanted me to rotate onto their team, he screamed at me and said I could leave his team only when he said I could.

As some of us celebrate and honor National Boss’s Day, it’s an important moment to remember that not everyone has a good relationship with their boss. Some of us are struggling with a boss who undermines us, makes fun of us, and even threatens to fire us. For anyone struggling with a bully boss, here are three important steps I wish I had taken back then.

1. Don’t normalize the behavior just because it’s your boss

When you are working for someone who is a bully, we may use power dynamics as an excuse. We tolerate things from a boss that we wouldn’t tolerate from a colleague. And of course, we may be scared of losing our jobs, so we normalize this behavior. If a bully boss shuts you down, calls you names and makes inappropriate jokes, and consistently crosses boundaries, this isn’t them just having a bad day. This is a pattern of bad, bullying behavior.

I remember rationalizing his behavior. “Well, that’s just how he is,” and “Maybe I’m being too sensitive,” and “This is the price I pay to have this big title and paycheck,” or “He is just under a lot of stress.” Just because they are the boss doesn’t mean they can behave this way. Ask yourself if you would allow a colleague to treat you this way? Chances are you wouldn’t.

2. Document what’s happening

I wish I had documented what was happening at work during this time. Some days I thought it would get better. Some days I thought I was imagining things. Some days I thought I could push through. Some days, I felt myself disappearing. My confidence was completely shaken.

Document what’s happening. As I discuss in my book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. A boss who bullies you once will do it again and again, testing your boundaries. And if they are bullying you, chances are, they have bullied others too. Make sure to keep your documentation off your work laptop and save screenshots of texts, emails and Slack messages. Keep a record of the facts: when it happened, what happened, if anyone else was present and how it impacted your work. You will want to use this documentation in the future if you decide to contact an employment lawyer. And, for now, you can review what’s happening and remind yourself that you are not the problem. You are, in fact, the target of bullying.

3. Know your rights

When your boss is the bully, speaking up can feel really risky. I wish I had known my rights and I wish I knew back then silence wasn’t my only option. That’s whereLift Our Voices, founded by Gretchen Carlson and Julie Roginsky, is an invaluable resource.

Lift Our Voices is working to challenge workplace silencing mechanisms and help employees better understand their rights. It’s LOV Where You Work AI Tool is a game-changing free resource designed to help employees make sense of employment agreements. The tool can help you identify provisions that would affect your ability to speak up. You can upload your employment contract and onboarding documents to this tool. It will help give you a better sense of what you signed and what rights and options are available to you if you are the target of workplace bullying. You may also decide to talk to trusted friends and mentors, and consult an employment attorney.

For some, National Boss’s Day is a day to thank the boss who makes work better. But if your boss is the reason you dread going to work, you don’t owe them a card or a mug or a thank you. You owe yourself a plan. Understand and validate what you are experiencing. Document what’s happening. Finally, map out your options. Remember that having a boss doesn’t mean giving up your voice. It means learning when and how to use it.

Key Takeaways

When you are working for someone who is a bully, we may use power dynamics as an excuse — but normalizing this behavior is part of the problem. Call out bad behavior when you see or experience it.
Keep a record of the facts: when it happened, what happened, if anyone else was present and how it impacted your work. You will want to use this documentation in the future if you decide to contact an employment lawyer.
When your boss is the bully, speaking up can feel really risky, but there are protections in place for employees for this reason.

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Do you work under a bully? The easiest way to answer this question is to check in on how you feel. If you feel intimidated, frustrated and dread going into the office because you be belittled, humiliated, ignored and cut down, you are in a hostile work environment.

Typically, bosses who bully are under tremendous pressure, love control and feed off of two things — emotional reaction and attention. They thrive on the power they have to manipulate others. Unfortunately, the toxic boss may produce success from inducing fear in their employees, but they will also prove to have a shorter shelf-life when it comes to long term success.

Just know that you’re not alone. The number one reason people leave their job is because they don’t like their boss. A toxic boss exists in nearly every work environment in corporate America. A survey in 2017 by the Workplace Bullying Institute defined this sort of workplace emotional abuse as the “repeated mistreatment of an employee by one or more employees or boss; abusive conduct that is: threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, work sabotage, or verbal abuse.” The survey found that:

61 percent of Americans are aware of the bullying that takes place in their workplace.
60 million Americans are affected by workplace bullying.
Bosses comprise 61 percent of bullies.
65 percent of bullied employees lost their original jobs when they tried to stop the bullying.

Most importantly, nearly 40 percent of people targeted by a bully experience stress-related health problems including debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and clinical depression (39 percent).

1. Shift your focus from your boss to your job.

A bully is unlikely to change their behavior, so your first option is to work to change yours. Instead of focusing on the boss who is trying to intimidate you, focus only on the details and tasks of your role. You have direct control over your performance, so make sure you are focused on the right thing, which is your job not your boss.

The more emotional power you give your toxic boss, the more your boss will focus on you as a target. A bully is more interested in reading your vibe than analyzing your performance. If your boss never gets your eye contact he/she never gets the invitation to come into your emotional space. When you focus solely on the tasks of your role you stop giving off the vibe of fear and anxiety over gaining approval from your boss.

2. Understand the bully.

The boss who is a bully at his/her core is an insecure, manipulative person who throws tantrums. They are selfish and immature. Most of you would not put up with this type of behavior in your own children and should not tolerate this type of treatment from your boss. The problem is your boss has a significant amount of control over your position. For this reason, you cannot meet fire with fire.

Toxic bosses manipulate their demand-arsenal so rapidly that it makes it difficult to meet their expectations or correctly follow their direction. It is a good practice to take detailed notes with times, dates and details of conversations you have had with your boss. This helps you stay on task. You will have evidence of what was said and requested, when and on what date, when your boss makes a move to gaslight you on what you think you’re supposed to be doing. Keeping this log available helps you stay grounded in the facts and out of the fire of emotional drama.

These notes also keep your boss in check with the fear that you may report him/her to human resources. Taking notes allows you to stay organized and to call your toxic boss out on your terms.

3. Set silent limits

Body language is a great way to silently but effectively deal with a boss who is a bully. Turn your body away from your boss every chance you get. Give your boss the side of your body or the back of your body at all times. When you have to be face-to-face with your boss, focus on lifting your chest and your chin. This posture gently but firmly communicates that you’re open to talk and not intimidated.

Bullies love to see people cower. When your toxic boss aggressively comes after you it is natural to cower; this posture will take over immediately when under siege of emotions like shame or humiliation. When you focus on your body language you covertly give yourself the upper hand. Your toxic boss will pick up on you having a stronger vibe and they will naturally respond less aggressively. Body language is a more powerful communicator than words which the bully can turn around and use against you; body language cannot.

4. Set verbal limits.

Analyze how your boss treats you from an objective place. Make a list of the facts. You will say less and get more accomplished when you approach your boss with facts and a strong physical posture. The more nervous we are the more we tend to talk. When you have facts you will set better limits. You can stick to the facts without trying to convince your boss of anything or squeeze any empathy or understanding from him/her.

Knowledge is power and facts are the knowledge you need. You must let your boss know you will no longer tolerate the negative facts on your list in terms to how you’re being treated. If your boss argues or starts acting out, leave the conversation and escalate to the person above your boss. Tell your boss that since he/she is unable to communicate rationally that you will be addressing your concerns elsewhere.

5. Build a network.

It is important to keep in communication with other employees who are also targets of your boss’s poor treatment. Encourage your coworkers to document dates, times and conversations they have with your boss. The more people involved in documenting the facts the stronger the case you give to human resources to intervene and possibly seek to further train or terminate your toxic boss. The more evidence that is brought into human resources from multiple people the clearer the pattern of abuse is to diagnose and treat.

6. Tell management and HR about the bully’s behavior.

Let your superiors and human resources know, through your documentation and meetings with your coworkers and boss, that you have done all you can do on your own to cope with and abate your boss’s flagrantly abusive behavior. Explain the impact the bullying has had on your physical, emotional and mental health along with how it has negatively impacted your work performance. File a formal complaint and allow human resources to instigate an investigation. In the meantime you may need to take a paid leave so as to avoid even more abuse once your boss is made aware that he/she is being investigated, or if possible, continue to work as you always have and give your boss the chance to show some change.