There’s a scene from Mad Men that has stayed with me for years. Peggy Olson finally reaches her limit and confronts her boss, Don Draper. She tells him she works incredibly hard, that she sacrifices a lot for the team, that she keeps delivering — including the idea behind a successful campaign — and yet she never feels appreciated. “You never say thank you,” she says. Don doesn’t hesitate: “That’s what the money is for.”

It’s one of the coldest lines in television history. It’s also uncomfortable, because depending on how you look at it, he isn’t entirely wrong.

Work is transactional. We invest our time and expertise, and we get compensated for it. Because that exchange feels so ordinary, many leaders, especially in high-performance corporate environments, start to believe compensation alone should communicate appreciation. What says “thank you” louder than a bonus or a promotion?

For a while, that logic holds. I coach a lot of executives who came up through cultures where toughness was rewarded and emotional reinforcement was treated as unnecessary, even as a sign of weakness. Survival itself was the acknowledgment. Nobody praised you for doing your job — you were expected to perform, period. And to be fair, many high performers are wired that way. They’re internally motivated and don’t need constant validation to keep going. Many are even uncomfortable receiving praise.

But something subtle happens to executives who operate mainly in that framework. Because they don’t need appreciation themselves, they stop consciously giving it to others. It’s not malicious. The habit just unintentionally disappears from their operating system. And that’s usually where leadership starts to break down, because while compensation completes the transaction, appreciation is what creates the connection. People don’t stay loyal to transactions forever. They stay loyal to feeling seen.

O.C. Tanner Institute’s 2026 State of Employee Recognition report found that employees whose recognition is intentionally woven into their daily work are 26 times more likely to plan on staying at their company for another year. Twenty-six times. I have never seen a raise deliver that kind of return.

Appreciation is a discipline, not a trait

Years ago, I coached the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company. One of his senior leaders privately confided a frustration that had been building for years: “He never expresses appreciation. Ever.” When I raised it with the CEO, his answer reminded me instantly of that Mad Men scene. “Why should I? I already pay them so much.” I asked him a simple question: “What does it cost you to say thank you?” He paused, then said the truth out loud: “Nothing.”

Here’s what I’ve learned from that conversation and hundreds like it since: Appreciation is not a personality trait; it’s a discipline. And it can be built the same way any other leadership habit gets built.

1. Block 30 minutes and make a thankful list

Every Friday morning, block 30 minutes for what I call “Thankful 30” and think about who on your team deserves acknowledgment that week. Not just the person who closed the biggest deal or gave the best presentation. Anyone, whether that’s the employee who quietly solved a problem before it escalated, the assistant who protected your schedule during a chaotic stretch or the person who challenged your thinking when everyone else stayed quiet. Keep quick, informal notes throughout the week — names, moments, small things worth remembering — because leadership is often lost in accumulation. By Friday, most executives can barely remember Monday. Thankful 30 forces that reflection, and the reflection changes behavior.

What I find fascinating is that this exercise often alters the leader as much as the team. At first, many executives treat Thankful 30 like just another task on the calendar. But eventually something shifts, and they start noticing more effort, courage and contribution — the things that used to slide by unnoticed. Over time, appreciation stops feeling procedural and starts becoming instinctive. That’s the moment culture actually changes: not when recognition gets mandated from the top, but when it becomes embedded in how leaders naturally see their people.

2. Notice the small stuff, not just the big wins

One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that people only want recognition for major accomplishments. That’s rarely true. Most people are deeply affected by the smaller moments — someone noticing they stayed late, someone acknowledging that they spoke up in a difficult meeting, someone recognizing consistency instead of just performative heroics, someone saying, “I know that wasn’t easy.” Those moments matter more than most executives realize, especially today, in a business climate where people are emotionally exhausted, overstimulated and increasingly disconnected from meaning in their work. Employees don’t necessarily expect constant praise, but they do want to feel relevant, to feel that their effort exists in the consciousness of the people they work for.

Achievers Workforce Institute’s 2025 State of Recognition report supports this. Just 21% of employees said recognition felt most meaningful when it was specific and tied to a monetary reward, while 45% — the largest group by far — said they felt most valued when recognition was specific and personal, with no reward attached at all. People remember praise, not points. When employees feel seen and connected to the mission, they begin giving discretionary effort. Leaders who consistently express meaningful appreciation unlock levels of loyalty and performance that compensation alone can’t buy.

3. Earn the right to be direct

None of this works if it’s performative. Employees can smell forced appreciation immediately, and generic praise often feels worse than silence. “I think it starts with making appreciation authentic and specific rather than making it another leadership task,” Kristi Andrews, VP of people operations at PCRK Group, the largest franchisee of Massage Envy, told me in an interview. Leaders can begin, Andrews explained, by simply slowing down enough to notice what their people are doing well and acknowledging it in the moment. Once appreciation is modeled by the leaders around them, she said it becomes a behavior others naturally carry forward with their own teams.

Appreciation doesn’t mean easing accountability, either. I’ve found the opposite to be true. People are far more receptive to hard conversations when they genuinely believe their leader sees and values them. Respect makes accountability easier, not harder.

I still think about that Mad Men scene often, because Don wasn’t entirely wrong. Money is part of the equation. It’s just incomplete. While compensation rewards the work, appreciation acknowledges the person behind it. In a world where talented people have more options than ever, that distinction matters more than most leaders realize. Sometimes the highest-impact thing a leader can do isn’t a strategic decision or a bold vision speech. Sometimes it’s 30 intentional minutes to remind people they matter.