If we could get inside that writers’ room (or Ryan Murphy’s head)…

We imagine Rachel Berry as a washed-up Broadway star who, after a series of scandals, heads back to Ohio in an effort to remember her roots. Jesse St. James left her in the dust at her lowest and cheated on her with his much younger co-star.

Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson are happily married with three kids (their oldest was carried by Rachel, who they see as an aunt). They run a LBGTQ+ arts nonprofit in New York City and also have a home upstate in Hudson.

Will Schuester is still the principal at McKinley High, but after a decade of being in charge, the job has hardened him. He barely sings anymore and is pretty miserable.

Sue Sylvester was a close-second to be the Republican candidate for the 2024 election, but lost out to Trump. Now, she’s his chief of staff. The two have been having a hate-fueled affair for years.

Quinn Fabray is a high-powered lawyer living in L.A. with her husband and two young kids. She hasn’t been back to Ohio in 10 years.

Mercedes Jones has achieved EGOT status and is besties with Beyoncé. Whenever her tours stop in Ohio, she visits McKinley High School and has never forgotten where she came from.

Tina Cohen-Chang is a respected theater actress in New York, where she runs her own improv group. She’s rekindled things with Mike Chang, who is now a Broadway choreographer, after they worked on a show together.

Brittany Pierce is a math teacher and cheer coach at McKinley. She’s a devoted mother to her and Santana’s two daughters, who are of course, Cheerios.

Sam Evans is still coaching New Directions at McKinley High, having led them to 10 consecutive state championships. But he’s at a crossroads after finally being offered a record deal of his own in Nashville.

And when it comes to Artie Abrams…where do we begin? He probably sold out and directed a few Marvel movies that flopped — or maybe they were DC movies, since Disney likely wouldn’t be happy with Murphy for making fun of its most popular franchise. Artie and Tina didn’t work out, but he’s trying to win her back by directing a movie musical inspired by their time in Glee club.

As we mentioned above, McHale has said before that he shouldn’t be playing a disabled character. He’s right, but is that really the problem? The simple fact of McHale’s casting was far less problematic than the fact that he once rolled himself straight into a swimming pool for a split-second gag during the glee club’s cover of Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” It would be even more offensive to pretend Artie’s spinal cord injury could be magically healed, allowing Abrams to play him as able-bodied… but it would be very “Glee.”